This Consciousness Is Painful, Yet Important

Today I'm going to talk about something that's quite sensitive. At the same time, it needs attention and deserves awareness.

A day back, I was standing near the gate of my house. A man came to deliver grocery items to a nearby house. Two small girl children were playing near the gate. I was about to leave as I had some work outside.

Now, coming to the point. Both the kids were very small, probably around 4 and 5 years old. At that age, to narrate or share with their parents whatever happened during their playtime itself takes time — to recollect everything and put it into words.

After completing the delivery, the man came down and closed the gate. One girl child looked at him and gave a small smile. The next moment, he touched her cheeks, smiled back at her, and left.

I was witnessing this, and at the same time, in the urge of leaving.

When they smiled at each other, nothing seemed wrong to me. But when he touched her and went down, Suddenly a thought boomed in my mind:

Did that come out of a good intention?
Should I stay here for some more time?
What if his intention was wrong and he returned again towards the kids?

Now, my point — I'm not blaming or defaming that delivery guy. He could have been a very good man. That smile could have come from pure innocence, simple human warmth, or a casual interaction with a child.

But this thought came to me because of the scary things happening in our society.

There is no guaranteed safety for women, no matter what age they are.

The very recent case where a 10-year-old girl was sexually assaulted and killed just wrenched my heart.

Here the delivery man's intention could have been completely harmless. But few roaming monsters and their heartless actions make us doubt even ordinary moments. They make us cautious, alert, and conscious of our surroundings all the time.

It's hurting.
It's painful.
Still, in today's world, this consciousness feels important.

To teach children about good touch and bad touch.
To teach them how to maintain boundaries.
To teach them to be aware.
To communicate.
To approach trusted adults without fear.
To face cruelty boldly if something ever happens.

For so many years, women have been conditioned how to sit, talk, walk, eat, sleep.

And this is going to sound like one more addition to the list:

Be safe.
Be cautious all the time.

It's painful to see how many households still want their children to sit at home, come home early, not talk to strangers, have a long face so others know they are "unapproachable."

But rarely do we question:

Why is this happening?
What actually needs to change to prevent this?

And I would say,

You need not change yourself into fear.

I'm not asking you to stay at home fearing the horrible things these cruel beings do.

Instead, live your life.

But since childhood, a child needs to be taught the best possible ways to approach, articulate, share, and free themselves — without guilt, without shame.

While writing this, I remembered the Tamil film Game Over.

The core of the film is this:

The female protagonist goes out on New Year's Eve to celebrate. While returning, she is abducted, locked up, and sexually assaulted. Though she tries to escape, she isn't able to.

 More than the assault, she is further shattered because the perpetrators record it and upload it online.

After lots of treatment, she recovers physically. But mentally, she cannot come out of that night.

Every year, when December 31st approaches, she suffers. She cannot digest it at all. Somewhere inside, she keeps wishing she could escape that hour, that horrible, haunting event that happened to her.

Throughout the film, she struggles with PTSD. Whenever the lights switch off, she panics, sometimes to the point of medical emergency. At one point, she even attempts suicide because she cannot carry the shame when people recognize her through that video.

And here comes the sad part.

Just imagine the mindset of people who watch footage of a woman being sexually assaulted as though it is entertainment.

How numb. How cruel.

You might ask — how is this relevant to what I said earlier?

Because from the beginning of the film, she keeps saying:

"I wish I hadn't gone to that party."
"I wish I had resisted even more."
"I wish I had saved myself from that situation."

Just see how society often makes women — or rather, victims — carry the shame.

She went out to have fun. Not to become prey.

Yet she blames herself because everyone around her, directly or indirectly, pushes that burden onto her. 

But towards the ending, through her bravery and self-discovery, when life again puts her in danger, she chooses differently. Setting aside fear, guilt, shame — and all the things she wished she had done that day — she fights back.

No matter the result.
No matter whether she lives or dies.

She refuses to remain frozen.

And that is where the film gives her something powerful:

Hope.
Satisfaction.
Freedom from self-blame.

And I believe that's something all of us should take forward.

The person who committed the cruelty should carry the shame. Not the one who SURVIVED it.

And awareness should not mean teaching people to live smaller lives — but teaching them to speak, seek help, trust themselves, and live free.