Knowing I Don’t Know

When can I be humble?

We say we should draw a line—to what extent I can stay humble. But T. S. Eliot says there is no limit in his poem East Coker (Number 2 of Four Quartets).

“The only wisdom we can hope to acquire

Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.”

To answer this question where can I be humble—our professor said, “When you know your insufficiencies, you can practice humility.”

I was stunned for a second. It took a moment to realise that what she said is absolutely true.

When you are ready to learn,

When you are ready to unlearn,

You gain a lot.

My brother always tells me, when you don’t know something, just ask openly. Don’t worry thinking you’ll be judged for that. It’s okay even if they judge. But what matters for you is the answer = learning. And there are a few mentors whom I have come across who just pass on their knowledge without any hesitations. And when you find such people, it feels like a feast for your brain. As you are going to learn and unlearn, question contradictory ideas, and accept a few which you thought were wrong, but now might make sense.

All this happens when you SURRENDER, ready to LEARN.

To learn, what is needed?

Is just the mindset enough? No—you need to admit that you don’t know something. Yes, it hurts. Especially your inner self, which believed all these days that you knew this particular thing. But one day, when reality hits, you have to go and talk to yourself—to convey that you pretended or believed you knew this. But today, you have realised, or rather admitted, that you don’t know it.

But you are ready to learn NOW.

This acceptance and willingness matter,

And take you on a path of growth.

It’s difficult, it needs lots of practice. I’m trying it too. But yes, when we know our insufficiency, as ma’am said, we can reach heights. With that comes humility.

For example, I am a folk and Western dancer. But I don’t know classical dance. Whereas my friend knows it—she is just amazing.

So here, I have to admit that I don’t know this. If I pretend as if I know it, I am not only fooling my friend but also myself. Since you are not going to say a lie, you are free from fear. You are also ready to learn. This would make me humble, as I value not only myself and my insufficiency, but also my friend’s ability.

Also, my friend, who is going to teach me, despite being a great dancer, takes effort and brings herself down to the beginner level. That shows her humility.

Today, when I was spending time with my neighbour’s 3-year-old kid, she was drawing something in her notebook. Then she took my eyeliner, and using the brush, she started painting. But she couldn’t do it.

Do you know what she said?

"Akka, I don’t know how to do this.”

I was taken aback. At this very young age, she admits that she doesn’t know something, and she was very eagerly ready to learn from me.

When I helped her with the painting, the smile of accomplishment on her face—omg. That’s the taste of learning something new, And staying humble.

So, to be open about our insufficiency and being humble is not a rare trait. With this example, we can see that this is innate in us. So yes, it’s not really a difficult task to bring it back.

All we need is self-awareness. As Linda Hogan writes in The Avalanche, “she knows what she knows.” But along with knowing what we know, we must also be aware of what we don’t know.

As Matthew Arnold says, we should keep learning, refine, and update ourselves. A true curiosity would make us do so.

Yes, as Eliot says, we can try to make this concept of humility an endless one. But with awareness of one’s insufficiency, there needs to be balance, I believe. Healthy awareness leads to humility, but overthinking one’s insufficiency can lead to self-criticism and self-doubt.

So yes, knowing your insufficiency can make you humble,

If you hold it with balance—not harsh judgment.