What a meaningful sorry can do?

 

Sorry, is it really a big word?
I mean, does it hold that much weight in it? A few realise and utter that word wholeheartedly.
Whereas most of us just say sorry to escape from a situation. I have seen people who don't listen to what the problem is, but come up with a weapon called ‘SORRY’. So by uttering this, do they mean they wouldn't do it again at all? But for that, one should’ve listened and then realised his/her mistakes.

Even one person's effort in a family can heal the wounds and prevent new wounds from forming. Most of the time in a family, asking sorry isn't a problem but how they say it matters.
As already mentioned, children need to be listened to. No matter how mundane it is, they want all the ears. And they expect a response. When we can't do something, or we have hurt them, we have to realise that asking sorry matters here.

Yesterday, I was returning home from the railway station. It was around 8 pm. I saw a woman probably around 30-year-walking with her daughter, who would be around 4 years old.She was carrying a bag in one hand, and holding her daughter with the other.

They were in a hurry, so they were walking fast. The child couldn't follow her mother's speed. Yes, those tiny legs needed some time. But her mother didn't realise it, I guess, so she just maintained that pace. Then the child fell down. The next minute she screamed and looked at her mother. In response, her mom apologized, asking sorry to her twice.

It might sound like a small thing, but that means so much to the child. Here the child wasn't blamed. She wasn't told that only because she walked a bit slow, she fell down. Instead, her mother understood that she was walking too quickly.This gave the child hope and trust.

I've seen people who blame the kid saying, “You should've walked fast, don't you understand we are getting late?” But how will the kid understand that? Is it her fault that she can't take big steps with those tiny legs?

I was overwhelmed when the mother asked sorry to her immediately. That minute itself, she prevented pain from being created. This stops the generational trauma from passing on to the next.The kid would've blamed herself, her ability if that sorry hadn't been asked. Even in the future, if others are faulty, she would accept it with pain as if it's hers. A sorry could shape one's personality and behaviour and at the same time could save an entire generation.

When I witnessed this, I was reminded of a scene from a Tamil film called Thiruchitrambalam.
There is a scene where three generations of men are there. The hero, who belongs to the new generation, gets beaten up by his father (a policeman) in a police station — but for a mistake he didn't do at all.Since his father and he aren't in talking terms, both just pour out their anger through words and actions. So in this scene, he pours out his frustration in front of a number of people.

After this the conversation goes like this at their house,
The hero played by dhanush (grandson) tells his grandfather, “Your son only hit me.” When Bharathi Raja who plays as a grandfather questions this to his son, Prakash Raj (the hero’s father). In return he says that 'had anyone in the station known he was his son, that would've been embarrassing.So i slapped him,You raised me with beatings, so I did the same'.

Then the hero says that as his father was raised by beatings, why can't he raise his son differently? Then the grandfather admits, “YOU HAVE A POINT, BACK THEN I WAS'NT SENSIBLE”

That sensibility here is ‘sorry’.It only takes one person to end the toxic patterns, break the cycle,
and stop generational trauma .